Painful tragedy aside, there is little more frustrating in one’s life than the ongoing patterns of unwise decision making that derail our development. Habitual, ritual, destructive, willing yet despised ways of thinking, ways of relating, and ways of behaving that knowingly wreck one’s life.

Some of these can be caused by vice such as alcohol or other drugs; however, some of these patterns can be inward attitudes that are just as destructive such as judgmental thoughts toward others. We know they’re wrong; yet we are powerless to them. We may be able to go for a season while self-willing ourselves to be different, but sooner or later these attitudes and actions creep up on us and set us spiraling down in our development.

Ultimately, at the root of this issue is a love for one thing over another. We give in to plaguing attitudes and actions because there is a sense of satisfaction and delight we know we will get from such destructive patterns.

There is always a predictable result from participating; we know the result we will get from these well-worn trails. Albeit destructive in the end, they offer some sense of satisfaction and delight. Our brain begins to crave the satisfaction that will be achieved, so it marches down the well-worn road to destruction.

Life is a journey. Don’t give up. An old Puritan, Thomas Chalmers, wrote on this very issue in his book, An Expulsive Power of a New Affection;

There are two ways in which a practical moralist may attempt to displace from the human heart its love of the world— either by a demonstration of the world’s vanity, so as that the heart shall be prevailed upon simply to withdraw its regards from an object that is not worthy of it; or, by setting forth another object, even God, as more worthy of its attachment, so as that the heart shall be prevailed upon not to resign an old affection, which shall have nothing to succeed it, but to exchange an old affection for a new one.[1]

This is not easy; this requires time and effort. The issue is an issue of love. Because our affections are so attached to destructive attitudes and actions we will ultimately pursue them to our own demise. However, as Chalmers writes, “by setting forth another object, even God, as more worth of its attachment, so as that the heart shall be prevailed upon not to resign an old affection, which shall have nothing to succeed it, but to exchange an old affection for a new one.”

We must take stock of our life. It’s imperative we pay attention to those attitudes and actions that are debilitating to a healthy soul. As we do this, we will uncover the areas that have found a new love. What is it we are loving that leads us to destruction? The only way to root this out is to cultivate our love for God in increasing measure.

[1] Chalmers, Thomas (2014-11-22). THE EXPULSIVE POWER OF A NEW AFFECTION (Kindle Locations 29-32). Robert Carter. Kindle Edition.